My Dad was Not the Best Dad, Which Made him The Best Dad for Me.

A few days ago it was, what would have been, my Dad’s 65th birthday.  Sadly he is no longer physically present to celebrate it as my Dad died very suddenly on February 1st 2010.

The irony, (if you can have irony in death,) was that just two weeks prior to my Dad’s passing, he was told by his doctor that he was officially a cancer survivor.

After an over two year battle with colon cancer, my Dad had beat it and was told by his doctor that he was in full remission and had has entire life ahead to look forward to.

My Dad had won a hard fought battle and for his efforts his rewarded with the promise of time.

Time to do all the things he had always wanted to do.

Time to make his priorities a priority.

Time to say I love you more.

Time to forgive and let go of past pain.

Time to travel and see the world.

Time to laugh with friends and connect with family.

Time to live life with a renewed appreciation after having been so close to death.

My Dad was promised, and given, time…. two weeks of it.

Not what he, I, or anyone else assumed, but that is what happened.

On his birthday I took a few moments to reflect on my Dad and what his death has meant to my life, as well as what his legacy is to me.

I recorded these thoughts so I could share them with You.

When I initially shared the video last week on Facebook I got an email from someone asking me “How can you open up and share the way you do.”

It is certainly not easy to do so and there are a lot of emotions that come up during the process of sharing.  I do share because with all my heart, I believe what I have experienced and what I have learned from those experiences is meant to be shared.  I feel it would be wrong of me to keep what I have to offer and the insights I have gained locked away – hidden from others.

It is my deepest hope that you are able to find value in what I share and perhaps my words are able to help some of you who are dealing with a significant loss of your own.

Enjoy the pics (they are all of my Dad and I),

Carpe Diem,





12 Replies to “My Dad was Not the Best Dad, Which Made him The Best Dad for Me.”

  1. …jess, you're the best person I know. There is no doubt he meant that. It wasn't like the usual "it's going to be ok" or "you'll get over it".

    What a great legacy your dad left for the world. YOU.
    He is very much alive in you still.
    You have definitely inspired me to reach out to different people in my life not just with this message, but with many other messages you've shared. A different perspective is what I'm always searching for in life. To try and think outside of our own personal experiences and personal journeys is difficult. . . at least for me.
    And being a parent myself, well I pray that my children will remember the good days with me and not the days where I feel as though I am epically failing as a mom.
    I believe that when you are married and a parent yourself you'll get to see the other side of that coin.
    Big hugs to you Jesse – this one was tough to watch .. I could see a bit of sadness in your eyes.
    I pray this one spoke to someones heart though….

  2. Thank you for this. My dad passed on saint Patrick's day this year and I've been thinking a lot about our relationship and how I was raised etc. I've had some very mixed emotions going on inside me and not sure how to feel about them. Your message really hit home and opened my heart in a new way, thank you. I am curious now where you grew up in northern ca since I was born and raised here! Lol

  3. Jesse, I knew your dad was a good man before you ever mentioned him, just based on the man that he raised. You do great honor to him.

  4. Wow, that was amazing Jesse. You are an amazing human being. I'm certain your dad was and is proud of the man you have grown up to be. I'm a firm believer that our loves ones watch us from up above. I am so thankful to Paul Walker, I found you because of him. I've heard you mention your book "Ouch My Heart is Broken but never really went to look for it till now. I just bought it. I've been going thru so much in the past two years, and have so much emotions but I can never really come out and say it the right way, but when I read your posts and watch your videos; its like your reading my mind. Thank You Jesse

  5. Hi Patty,

    Thank you for the kind words. Let me know how you like Ouch My Heart is Broken. I hope it provides you a tremendous amount of value and guidance in processing and working through all that has happened

  6. Hi Jesse,

    I'm so sorry that you had to experience this kind of pain. I understand it's part of life, but it's painful no matter what. I was able to say good-bye to my dad when he passed on October 9, 2010. He was placed on hospice care because his kidneys failed at the age of 59; he had been a type 1 diabetic for 59 years. Losing my dad was one of the hardest things I've ever been through. I commend you for moving forward as you are in life. I admire that, as I had a hard time after losing my dad. I didn't understand how life kept moving around me. My world was gone. I'm very thankful I've come across your information. You're a huge inspiration to me. You've impacted my life and given me hope for the future. God bless you and your heart.

    Melissa Flores

  7. It made me tear up through out the whole video, you know why cause I felt like I am realted to your story somehow, some people they don't really know how to react or show their emotions towards their kids and now because of your video, I completely understand my Dad now, not everyone is good in showing their emotions properly. Some how we become this person because of our parents….just like you said our perception towards our relationships in everything…We have to see the two sides of the coin, so we can understand them. Thank you Jesse, you certainly taught me to never take my time with him for granted.

    "They might not be the best parents, but the best parents for us"

    Seize The Day!!!

    Thank you so much Jesse. Keep being awesome!

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